the meaning of your communication is the response that you get

Continuing from my last post on the core assumptions of the leading mindset, the first filter I discussed was the idea that the meaning of your communication is the response that you get, not the necessarily the response that you intend.  This resulted in some conversation after the presentation as whether this assertion was, in fact, ‘right’.

“Sometimes you can communicate something very clearly but the other person just doesn’t get it.”

QED

The point about these assumptions (which are drawn from the Presuppositions of Neurolinguistic Programming, by the way), is that it doesn’t matter if the assumption is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.  The power of the assumption is that it allows us to consider an alternative possibility that may substitute improvement for blame.

We’ve all given someone a set of instructions and walked away convinced that we communicated clearly what we wanted.  The other person likely walked away convinced they understood clearly what we wanted.  And yet the result is not what we expected.  A typical response to this is along the lines of “You’re so dumb – how could you not understand a simple instruction?”

There are two perspectives on any interaction – there is what you intend to communicate and there is what the other person actually receives.  Most importantly, it is the latter perspective that defines the result.  In other words, you can see how effectively you communicate by observing the extent to which the results you get meet your expectations.  If you don’t get the result you expect, consider asking yourself “How might I communicate this more effectively so the other person understands my meaning no matter what?”

Leaders take 100% responsibility for their communications.  By assuming that the meaning of your communication is the response that you get, you constantly challenge yourself to find better, more effective ways to get your message across.

You can view the original presentation at Prezi.com.